I think I have the right to blog about this as I have been through it myself.
I know it is a touchy subject, and most people do not understand until they have been through it themselves.
Watching someone go through it, does not always make you understand what they are experiencing, alot of people involved take it personally, like we who have or are going through postnatal depression are doing it on purpose, because we are a bitch, or nasty or just plain nuts.
Believe me, it is none of those reasons, we don't purposely go through it!
The reason why I am bringing it up is because my friend was telling me how her guy friend has just kicked his partner out of their home (oh sorry, HIS home, ya know coz he paid for it! typical, heard that line a zillion times before) because she is suffering from postnatal depression! She has a 3yr old from a previous relationship and a 10mth old with him. Apparently she has suffered with depression before, so just in my opinion, has probably never gotten over that form of depression, probably suffered postnatal depression with her first child and now with this child, so it is very likely she never got over the other depressions, and now they are combined.
She has only recently agreed to take medication, but from what it sounds like, she has it severely, she is drinking alcohol and taking drugs on top of the depression.
I think he has done the wrong thing by kicking her out, she is not being herself and cannot help it, she needs serious professional help, and she needs her loved ones by her side, especially her partner. Before she harms herself or the baby.
Understand this though, not all women who suffer postnatal depression harm or want to harm their children. Just like all forms of depression, it depends on the person.
I am in no way an expert, but I can relate, as I unfortunately suffered from it when I had my child, I had bad experiences in hospital, an emergency c-section and a few other things happened, on top of me being young and it made me very scared, emotional and I felt like a failure. Still til this day I say that I am a failure at everything, as I couldn't even give birth to my child right!
I never wanted to harm my child, never, ever. I just felt very lonely, alone, sometimes very angry, I would lash out mostly at my partner, sometimes run away to my best friends or my mothers house in the middle of the night.
My partner took this personally, but it wasn't personal, I was sick, unfortunately still til this day, he takes it personally.
Please, if you are suffering from postnatal depression, do whatever it takes to get yourself well again, do not just stop taking your medication without doctors advice. Or if you think you have postnatal depression, do not ignore this, ask for help, do not let pride or fear stand in your way.
If you know someone who may be suffering from this, please talk to them, and be their rock, we need at least one person in our life that will stand by us. Help to get them professional help. Go to your doctor or counsellor, or even research it all online.
Before it is too late.
www.bupa.com.au/Depression
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/
Actress BROOKE SHIELDS has a great book about her experiences with it, it is called DOWN CAME THE RAIN. It is worth reading, even if you cannot relate to postnatal depression. I think it is good for men to read a book like this too.
M.R xo
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